But wait, there she is standing near the big, grandiose entrance door. With her favorite drinks on her big hands, she tells me to get some. I take it to satiate my thirst and I notice that her thick eyebrows become narrowed. I ask her, "What's the matter?" She questions me back, "there are still two sets, can you really make it?" I reply confidently, "yes." I could see that that worried woman seems to be hesitating, but I stubbornly do not care. Then the tired me decide to proceed into the court. I take a deep breath for the last time and use my red shirt to wipe off all the salty sweats. I was only half-conscious.
In just a blink, the fast, sudden ball comes. I try to bump in the correct posture, but I fail. It knocks me down to the hard floor. Then, the blonde-hair, blue-eyes girl tries to help me up. I'm too tired to hesitate. All the negative thoughts come to me. What will happen if I lose? Why this American Barbie helped me? Is she trying to bring me down again? But all of my worst thoughts disappear when the 'fake' she tells me to go on. Her actions are dubious that I don't quite understand, but still I catch her hand. It is such an uncool of me to let my 'beloved' enemy to help me. I feel humiliated for being weak and stupid.
Just when I think that she is amicable and lovely, I catch a glimpse of her cunning smirk. I know her game now, but still I try to not to notice it. She knows that my weakness and she also knows that my strength is running out. I am about to cry at how pathetic I look right now, but I cannot simply do that. I can't afford to win nor to lose. All I know is that she is playing 'games' with me. I don't really mind because I know just how to end the 'games'.
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Nice descriptions! I could imagine I'm you in the situation. I could sense what you see. I could really imagine how you feel in the situation. Your introduction is really capturing my attention. It makes me wanna know what happen next. The story goes very smooth and kind of a twist in the middle that the girl who help you is actually your enemy. Good job!
ReplyDeletePatthita M. (Period 8)
Thank you, Patthita, for a very nice comment. My story really contains a 'twist and turn' incident, but the ending is for you to guess what will really happens.
DeleteSuch a well done descriptions.... =w=b It was interesting to read. You've chose the right words to describe and the way to describe what kinds of things. It felt like I was reading a book. It describes the feeling of yours and your situation. I could feel ur PASSION! xDDb It was great to read and keep up your best work ^^
ReplyDelete-Hyesun Lee (P.5)
Yeah, it actually is my passion. I mean that stuff is what I really enjoy doing.
DeleteMs. Sunshine, what a descriptive and relatable writing! This is enjoyable, and I felt as if I'm watching a movie when I tried to imagine how it looked like. I could feel the tensed feeling you got there, the nervousness and the aim to reach that certain goal. I could really picture how you looked like, and how you felt, cause I myself can feel the same way too. If I may give you a suggestion, perhaps you may want to choose to make it either a present tense or a past tense so that it matches the situation. Like if it is a past tense it can be "took", "came", something like that. Other than that, this is fascinating and I love it! Keep up the great work! :)
ReplyDelete-Regina Hutagalung, p8
Reply to Ms. Smiley Sunshine: Thank you, I know that I'm kind of mix up with the tenses. I think you should teach me sometimes. : )
DeleteI felt so tired after reading this... it's an honorable writing! I shall follow your words, sentences, and phrases you wrote. ;D Your descriptions of everything are so real to me! You have an amazing skill in writing but I don't really good at grammar so I don't not really know what you should fix. But keep up the good work! I love to see it :)
ReplyDelete-Nattanun Sumpunkulpak P8
Thank you Natto, at first I thought that you really don't like my writing because you say that it's tiring. But yeah, thank you : )
DeleteYour writing reminds me of when I was in volleyball team last year. By reading this, I can imagine myself in the basketball court watching you practice volleyball. You describe the situation very well. The part I like the most is the last sentence. I think it is so cool! :D
ReplyDeleteI missed those time. It actually took me a while to find the correct ending. Thank you.
ReplyDelete